Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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