nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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