guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
