I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
