my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
