i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
