i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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