ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
