its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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