3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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