Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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