never play flip cup with pint glasses
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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