You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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