all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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