dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
