I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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