dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize