yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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