He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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