ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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