Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
