Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
