He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
