i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
