Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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