Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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