the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
