Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
