Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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