It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
