It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
