um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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