I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
