forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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