My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i just google imaged poop.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
