Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
