I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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