maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
