Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
