She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize