Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
