Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
