like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
