When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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