I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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