Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just high enough for therapy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
