your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
