Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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