Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
