Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
