just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sorry about my life...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
