I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
