so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
