quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry about my life...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
