Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
