Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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