woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
