Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
