I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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