I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
