Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
