It's Friday. Sex?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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