I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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