i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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