You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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