She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
