I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize