So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She bit a glass in half.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize