About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
