We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize