you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize