You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
